Vay! Cay! Shun!

From Bad Ways To Sell Your Horse Posts 101-200

I have a 10 yr old stallion named guy that i am wanting to trade for a saddle broke traffic safe horse with saddle and bridle... guy has papers and is a very gentle good horse. if i cant trade i am willing to sell him, he needs a buddy and i only have room for one horse, him being a stallion he needs a mare to be around, he is kinda spoiled but will make a great pet you can have him on a lead rope and he doesn't mind if ppl sit on his back and you can walk him around a little bit. i have done it many time. but when one person is on him and you are by yourself there is a possibility of getting bucked off. i was by myself and jumped on his back and it didnt pan out to well. but he works as a great breeder. call me at 000-000-0000 it will be me Nikki. Selling price im asking 3500 because he is a stud. Thanks i have one picture but if you text text my number and i can send u better pics

Ahhh the great wall of text! It's coming for me!!

But really? You want to trade your stallion (Who needs a mare to be around? Wha?) for a trained, spook-proof horse? Hahahahaha! Good joke!

I'm going on vacation (Colorado!!), and will probably not post the rest of the week. Just a heads up!

Thanks to Camille H.!

Pass the Eye Bleach

From Bad Ways To Sell Your Horse Posts 101-200

Male Horse .. approx 5 years old .. Very large and healthy horse, 18 hands high, loves to be ridden, very tame .. Absolutely gorgeous horse David Yates .... 000-000-0000

Age: Somewhere between 5 and 10.

Height: Blatant lie.

Breed: Male, Absolutely Gorgeous, or Very Large and Healthy. Take your pick!

Temperament: Loves to be ridden, very tame.

Owner: PLEASE PUT A SHIRT ON!

Thanks to Natalie R.!

No, I Will Never Run Out of Fodder

From Bad Ways To Sell Your Horse Posts 101-200

This horse is a pure breed horse

We're not sure what breed though

He is very tall

He's eight years old

He is very strong and muscular

Price $900 OBO

Nick (000) 000 0000

OR

Tiffany (000) 000 0000

And that is why Bad Ways to Sell Your Horse exists.

Sweetie, Your Horse is Not that Special

From Bad Ways To Sell Your Horse Posts 101-200

Change of Expression is a phenomenal mover with an excellent mind. With four white socks he is very noticeable and flashy in the show pen.In 2008 at State 4-H he won the Senior Showmanship, Eq. and HUS! In 2007 at State 4-H he was a finalist in Horsemanship, top ten in Showmanship, 2nd in HUS, and 2nd in Dressage. Extremely easy to ride and safe for any level of rider. Change of Expression has been in professional training much of his life and has absolutely NO VICES! This is a horse that basically does patterns for you both in showmanship and in riding classes and does not need to be worn down. 100% sound, no special shoeing needed. C.o.E. has also excelled in the AQHA. He is a two time world show qualifier and with limited showing by a youth he has a ROM and many points in Eq, HUS, Horsemanship, Showmanship, and Halter. C.o.E. loves to trail ride or go down the road and has even helped move cattle. C.o.E has been in training with Jet Thompson. I am a sophomore in college and ready for a new challenge. To view video search change of expression on you tube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NW01i-f_06o I also have a longer video with some horsemanship and trail on it that I can easily e-mail. Call Katrina(000)000-0000

Two very Bad Selling Ways in this ad:

1. This horse is not worth $19,000. He has not done anything other than 4-H? And some AQHA? And isn't even a consistent 1st place? Even in a better horse market, there is no way.

2. This ad does not make this horse seem like he's worth $19,000. It has a TINY cell phone picture, and a not-prominently-displayed video. The video is awful. It's also done with a cell phone and is grainy in the first part. The second part is running at about 1.5 speed. Seriously.

Thanks to Kate K.

In Which I Remember That Last Weekend Was a Holiday and That I was Not The Only One Away From My Computer

From Bad Ways To Sell Your Horse Posts 101-200

I have a Palomino he was born 1-9-99 he is registered APHA He is BIG and yellow with 3 white socks and white mane and tale with a white blaze down his face.Like most palomino's he rides better with a hackmore than a bit.I was hurt a few years back and can not ride like i use to i have let a few friends ride him some times he is good other times he is an ass.He needs someone that can spend the time on him and unfortintley I can not anymore.He would make a beautiful parade horse or rodeo drill team horse.He weighs about 1150-1200 pounds NO BONES everyone thinks he is a stud because he is so big-NO not studdy-Just big.If interested call me i am open to posible trades but could really use the money.If the market was there he would bring 1500.00 no prob.If interested call me at 000-000-0000

What I learned from this ad:

1. "Yellow" and "palomino" are interchangeable.
2. Palominos generally ride better in hackamores.
3. Some horses have no bones.
4. If your horse is "big" people will think he is a stud. But it's definitely not because he acts like a stud...
5. In this economy you can lie about how much your horse would normally bring. People may or may not believe you.

Also, my readers are frickin' AWESOME and I love you all!

Thanks to Crazy 3 Dayer for finding and to Cut N Jump for sending me this ad!

In Which I Am Sad Because the Last Post Did Not Get a Single Comment

From Bad Ways To Sell Your Horse Posts 101-200

I am looking to expand my bit collection because a stubborn horse i have doesnt like his tom thumb i am looking for these kinds

Full cheek Snaffle

Junior Cowhorse bit

Smooth iron Wonder bit

Straight reiner

I would prefer the bit to have copper

Thanks and please just email the above address and if possible attach a photo

Guys, I think this may be the first ad with absolutely not one speck of punctuation. Not one speck!

And as for the ad itself, I agree with Aimee. How many bits are they planning on putting in this poor pony's mouth?

Thanks to Aimee!

Ye of Few Words and Bad Grammar

From Bad Ways To Sell Your Horse Posts 101-200

really nice quarter horse,freindly,stallion almost 2 years old..really inttelgent , itz registered call me for more info and if u want 2 see him...000 000 0000

Your two-year-old stallion (COLT) may be "inttelgent", but you, sir, are not. And, no, I don't want 2 come see him.

Thanks to Amanda Z!

From Bad Ways To Sell Your Horse Posts 101-200

BEUTIFUL TALL 1/2 QUARTER HORSE ARIB YEARLING FILLIES CHOICE. $350. CAN DELIVER. CALL 000-000-0000 OR 000-000-0000

Google is not only my friend, it is the world's friend! Arab is not spelled like that. Also, are you saying that there is more than one filly? Or that the horse's name is FILLIES CHOICE? Sorry, but you have confused me with you CAPS LOCK.

Thanks to Reddunappy!